7 July

　　已经一年了。
　　但还是很清楚地记得一年前的现在，在Bloomberg实习的我正在打电话联络分析师谈伦敦连环大爆炸对英镑和gilts (UK bonds)的影响会有多大，他们或同事有没有困在tube里或死伤，下班后打算怎么回家。
　　忙忙碌碌地追问别人的安危，却完全忘了自己，对事件也没有什么感觉。
　　直到英国市场中午闭市后，终于有空档才惊觉原来第一和第二个爆炸地点离我的办公室其实近在咫尺，走5分钟就到了，而巴士爆炸的地点离开我家也只不过2分钟。幸好我的工作时间是凌晨6时到下午4时，不然很可能就上了那个巴士。回过神的那一刻便赶紧联络上家人让他们知道我安好无恙。
　　我的4年留学生涯，由9/11开始，以7/7结束。
　　去念书之前在电视上目睹两架客机撞入纽约的WTC，父母开始操心，提醒我时时都要提高警惕。有前科之鉴，在伦敦念书四年，已经有心理准备有一天会发生恐怖袭击事件，何况那里的治安不是很好。只是袭击的方式和规模有些令人意外。在事后与当地的朋友聊起，由于伦敦市区没有高楼耸立，大家都猜测袭击者会在tube里放毒气，杀伤力和造成的瘫痪肯定比较大。
　　那天下了班，不敢搭车回家，步行到一个住在办公室附近朋友的家过夜。
　　接下来几天也都是步行45分钟旅程上下班、上学、上超级市场、上教堂。后来觉得逃避公共交通工具不是办法，何况我又附了整个月的bus pass。
　　还记得，每当巴士在车站停下来，巴士上的人都会不由自主地把目光投向入口处，查看上车的人是否有背着超大的背包或外表可疑。曾不只一次目睹头上戴着头饰的中东人被巴士上的人认定是可疑的恐怖份子，当众被轰赶下车。
　　能把每个人变得坐立不安、精神恍忽，我想恐怖份子已达到它们的目的了。生活没有保障，要时时怀疑身边的人，真的很累。
　　过去一年里，陆陆续续看到恐怖活动被揭穿的消息。有时候不仅猜疑，这些是不是法治当局的伎俩。恐怖主义防不胜防，恐怖份子总会在你最意想不到的时候悄悄地找上门，拥有最好的武器到最后也会无用武之地。因此，唯一可以打的是心理战术，看哪一方的人比较强硬、在惶恐不安里生存得比较久。
　　7/7后的伦敦确实改变了不少。恐怖袭击事件没有打击到伦敦市民，反而起了团结的作用，在这场心理战争中成为最后的胜利者。
　　许多伦敦市民都曾经历90年代的爱尔兰共和军攻击，7/7事件只不过是它们人生的美梦中多出来的一场恶梦。几个月“睡醒”后，重拾信心为未来继续努力奋斗。
　　老实说，如果7/7事件发生在新加坡，我没有信心新加坡人能够和伦敦市民一样能够一起从阴霾中走出来，即使会，也要花一段好长的时间。
　　打的是心理战术，没有遭遇暴风大雨，娇生惯养的新加坡人，相信即使有再多的演习还是会不堪一击。当坏人入侵我们这个comfort zone时，丑恶、自私、怕输的心态肯定必露无疑。最担心的是，伦敦事件发生后巴士上的情况会在新加坡发生，什么multiculturalism的课都会抛出窗外。
　　我个人认为，问题就出在新加坡人对自己所属的社会缺乏ownership。Social ownership不是周末看到有人在路边筹款，或是电视上播放慈善演出，捐点钱就算是为社会作出贡献。Social ownership需要将心比心，是对社会对周遭的人和事物产生感情所培养出来的归属感。许多新加坡人只知道为求生而奔波，连自己住家或办公室里的邻居是谁都不知道。
　　虽然说患难见真情，可是如果邻居也需要等到发生事情时才能做到这样真的有点可悲。
　　离国庆日还有一个月，也许今年你能给国家最好的生日礼物就是先认识你周围的人，然后真正去为这个社会作出付出。这才是真正能够抵抗恶势力的最佳招数。

Grrrr.....

　　Prepare for a long long long rant if u wanna read this:
　　The past week has been pretty rough... starting with the England match....had a group of Portugal fans who were standing behind my chair kicking & shaking my chair till I almost fell off....felt even worse when England lost... After which, an inconsiderate taxi driver chased my fren and I off our called-cab bcuz he wasn't willing to drop my fren off on the way to my place or he'll not make it home in time for the Brazil-France match. Chasing 2 gals off the cab after driving a distance at 2.30am in the morning is just totally unacceptable!
　　Following day, not sure what I ate for breakfast or lunch on Sunday morning but I had such a bad stomach upset that I couldn't enjoy my weekly dinner with my family.
　　The start of the week kicked off pretty well as I was able to clear quite a bit of work and then what seemed like it's gonna be a good week started turning sour.
　　Went for a test drive on Monday & somehow due to my carelessness & ditzyness, I managed to misplace my driving licence somehow... and then yesterday I got ticked off and chased away by someone that I once respected. I was merely trying to play fair with regards to the situation mind u if u or ur counterparts are reading this. I could have gone ahead with the article without consulting you at all if I was what you deemed me as.
　　Finally today. Woke up feeling a bit queasy... thought i'll be fine later on as I started real early today trying hard to clear work before I leave for my holiday next week. Thought i'll get better after lunch but I just sank deeper and started to see lights flashing and my head spinning round in circles.
　　Went upstairs to see the doctor and she asked if I watched soccer & didn't have enough sleep. When I left the clinic and bumped into my 2 ex-bosses, they too asked the same thing!!!! To set the record straight......I didn't stay up to watch soccer!!! Decided that there's no point in watching it anymore since my fav England is out and now that matches are played at an unearthly hour of 3am Singapore time. I value my sleep more....
　　Okiez think I've gotten everything out of my system... time to get back to finish up my immediate work and go home for some rest. Tomorrow is gonna be a better day. Fingers x.
　　

《媒体人时评》

针对我今天的《媒体人时评》，有读者SMS《我报》说：
+659750xxxx: 致《我报》记者李韵琳：你说每当政府或任何机构政策或措施时，很多人都会Complain,只是all talk no action？想请问你，国民能take什么action？有那些大团或机构体可以为人民讨个公道的？还有，你说如真的要抗议德士车资起价，那就下定决心该搭巴士或地铁。再请问你，如果巴士与地铁再起价呢？那国民是不是要改骑脚车或途步来表示抗议？《圆圆》

我想说：
　　问题就出在这里：国人总是认为凡事都无能为力，还没有开始想办法就给自己判死刑。即使没有机构像CASE可以帮助人民请命，如果意志坚定的一群人真的想达到理想，它们是可以自己组织团体，合作力量大。
　　如果一个人或一群人觉得交通车资起价真的不合理，不搭交通工具，用步行或骑脚车，这些难道行不通吗？何况，新加坡没有那么大，步行或骑脚车上班出街应该不成问题，只是看你愿不愿意在时间和精力上付出，还要看个人是不是很坚定想为自己的信念讨个公道。在国外，自立组织，或应不满交通费上涨而改用步行或骑脚车的人很多。
　　介绍你一个网站，看一看外国人是怎么表达不满（许多作法虽然在新加坡行不通，但这并不代表完全不能抗议，关键就在于我们是否有创意。）：http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/actionnetwork/A1930916

很谢谢你的意见。非常喜欢这样的互动，代表有人在看我的文章！

Hopeless with Birthdays...

　　Sighz...I'm totally hopeless with Birthdays. It's the second time in a month that a fren has to sms/call me to remind me that it's another fren's birthday. Unlike what some people think, I believe Birthdays are special and should be celebrated with a big bang and I'll be really upset if ppl forget my bdae but I'm just totally hopeless when it comes to remembering dates. An ex-boyfriend used to get really angry with me for forgetting our anniversary but it's really not intentional.
　　Ok, I must admit, sometimes my work does take over my life and that I do not have a very good memory in general (Ppl i've met, pls don't kill me or get offended if I were to walk pass without saying hi... I genuinely can't remember!!!!). Besides my immediate family's birthdays and a few frens' (can count with 1 hand) ... the rest I really can't recall. I've tried writing them down before but after a while they end up everywhere, one book here, another there that I don't actually keep track.
　　Hmm... maybe I really should keep a notebook just for birthdays of close frens/colleagues/ family...i've tried the online birthday alarm in case u wanna suggest that to me but not many people subscribe to it so I gave up...
　　Enough of rambling....Happy Birthday Zwen! See you & the rest on Sunday!

How much is too much?

I'm usually not a fan of flats (... love 3 inch heels to bits....) but aren't they pretty? But the above Pedro Garcia Isaura Ballet Flat with Crystal Chain comes with a price tag of US$426.00.
When buying stuff that you like how much is too much really? Does quality & style come first or your psychological price barrier?
Probably the latter for me.....

习惯性的逆来顺受

　　下周一开始，德士车资将调高，我周围的人怨声四起。对此，我觉得有些懊恼。不是因为我认为车资调整不合理，而是因为发怨言的人。
　　他们现在提出意见，或是抨击政策是因为他们真的觉得不合理吗？还是纯粹为了反对而反对？又或者这是个可以让他们发泄发牢骚的课题，他们认为这样能行使自己的发言权？
　　在本地，每当政府或任何机构改变政策或措施，开始的时候都会有很多人会complain。可是，到头来都只是all talk no action。过了几个星期，即使是当初最强力反对的人也会开始resign to their fate，默默忍受，渐渐学习去习惯，然后变得理所当然。
　　新加坡人总是对改变或在发表不满时抱着三分钟热度，在意兴阑珊或没有得到想要的效果之后就会放弃，逆来顺受地去学着去习惯。对事物能这样，对自己的前途和未来我想多少也持有同样的态度。
　　人们总是希望能在新加坡看到改变和进步，可是这是需要有推动力和实际行动的，三言两语是不足以move a mountain，即使move a sandhill也寸步难移。
　　如果要在这个竞争激烈的环球环境生存下来，确保我国可以长长久久地繁荣下去，人民的习惯性的逆来顺受需要检讨。