The Long Goodbye

Today, the call that marks the start of the long goodbye came through.

Although I've been waiting for this day before I even started, but strangely enough, I didn't feel as elated. In fact, my first response was "so fast?" and was at best emotionless throughout. With things set in stone, I walked out feeling even more lost and confused than before.

Breaking news is critical of my job and something I take pride in, but for the first time in my life, I find myself at a loss for words and don't look forward to articulating the inevitable to people I've spent a significant part of my life with. Can't help thinking how this is synonymous with "The Long Goodbye" associated with the final phase of Alzheimer’s disease, where the painful and prolong farewell process starts with the confirmation of loss of speech and communication by the doctor.

The Long Goodbye can be a time of great emotional turmoil and grief when one sees their love ones whither away as the clock ticks. With each passing minute, knowing that our days together are numbered, the more I want to hang onto the good times and not breathe a word, even to the extent of having second thoughts. Emotional baggage it seems is weighing me down. I must admit letting go and moving on was never something I could handle well.

However, reality is that no one is indispensible and the world will still go round. I've reached the point of no return. It was good while it lasted.

Parting words before I completely lose the ability to articulate myself: The road I've travelled thus far has been a fulfilling and enjoyable one and it's all thanks to each and everyone of you. Please forgive me for not being able to continue with all of you on this journey.

As I inch closer to the end of the road, I can only hope that my destiny will be as clear as my faith in God, heading for eternal life, where hopefully I'll be able to be together with some of you again one day.