羡慕他人的一天

　　今天真是一个让我很羡慕他人的一天。
　　一大清早进办公室，有一名很久没聊天的朋友突然通过MSN给我发了一个劲爆的消息：我们的旧同学今天要结婚了。
　　朋友结婚嘛，有什么好大惊小怪？
　　这名朋友是香港名模，丈夫来自香港豪门，婚礼被誉为香港世纪婚礼，简直就是现代Cinderella story。
　　在LSE念硕士的时候，我们四女一男属于同一个study group。我们开始并不知道她的身份，只觉得她好漂亮。后来从其他同学知道后，也没有向她证实，觉得没有必要。
　　她虽然是明星级人物，穿戴名牌上学，有个有钱有势的男友，但一点架子都没有，也没有要求我们给予她什么特别待遇。Study notes做得好完整。还记得考试前，我曾经到她家与她温习statistics。当时她的妈妈专程从香港飞到伦敦来照顾她，煮了好多好好吃的东西给我们，现在记起来都会流口水。
　　只可惜过去一年来工作太忙，毕业各自回国后就没有什么联络。
　　今天听到她的婚讯，真是为她高兴。祝两位白头偕老，早生贵子！
－－－－
　　没过多久，坐在我旁边的同事宇宁带了一大袋东西来到办公室。
　　原来她的爸爸在看了她写的恋物志后，买了一个圣诞袜子，装了一些小玩具和糖果，老远从新山来到新加坡送给她，当作“稿费”。
　　温暖牌礼物，真令人羡慕。

－－－－
　　唉，这样的爱情，亲情，何时也能如此倦顾我啊？

I want a teddy bear...

Been wanting a big, brown, soft teddy bear for the last couple of weeks...actually anything I can hug when I feel lonely and a punching bag when I feel frustrated...

This is something I'm sure my mum will never approve of considering I've got so many stuff toys lying around at home already...guess it's Christmas n i've been seeing lots of cuddly bears everywhere I go :(

圣诞节的省钱招数

还有两个多星期就是圣诞节了，圣诞礼物还没买，圣诞卡片也还没时间寄出，所以过去的周末就上网看有些什么美美的ecard可以寄，无意中发现这则有趣的圣诞节省钱秘笈，这里和大家分享一下。

每年的圣诞节都是热闹喜气的,大街小巷都是人头攒动,而精明的商家(不管是卖衣服的,卖食品的,还是卖礼品的),都鼓足了劲,想趁着节日的升温大捞一笔,所以在这个时候唯一要做的就是---看紧你的钱包,让它在不被小偷惦记的同时,也不要成为商家的猎物!

1. 千万不要为了所谓的浪漫,去光顾西餐店(包括咖啡屋等等),他们早就准备好了磨得噌亮的大刀,等待能够痛宰你一刀!要想享受烛光晚餐的惬意,可以买原材料在家里做嘛,要是非要有摇曳多姿的烛光,也可以去买一个漂亮的烛台啊,不但经济实惠,还可以一直用到老,也算是给家里增添固定资产啊!

2. 千万不要去商场,在商家精心策划和准备下,很少能够有人可以抵挡琳琅满目的商品诱惑,人多地少,空气自然不会好,且不说把时间耗费在漫长的交款队伍中是多么无聊,就单凭在商场人流中挑选自己心仪的东西的艰难险阻,就可以领略到沙丁鱼般的拥挤!

3. 千万不要去超市,别以为过节折扣多,商家的手段是层出不穷的,总有办法诱导你去选择一些根本不需要的东西,自己还觉得占了很大的便宜.其实羊毛出在羊身上,俗话说得好,买的不如卖的精,对于天生对购物就有特殊感情的女性来说,直接不去考验自己的意志是省钱的不二法门!

4. 千万不要去娱乐场所,他们也早就为您准备了足够多的诱惑和新奇,如果您就是想好好玩,不计较成本,那么此条及以上数条对您都不实用,要是您认为不该花的不能花,那您还可以继续往下看!

5. 千万不要去看电影,什么迎节、无极之类的大片，商业炒做的痕迹太重,看了也许会失望,再说在假日去看大片,至少又得让口袋破一个大洞?　还是省下来好,在温馨浪漫的圣诞节咱不受这个刺激,关键是为了省钱嘛!

　　其实圣诞节不用去凑热闹,最后建议,不妨在周末和家人好好欢聚一堂,在家做顿好吃的,家人不在一起的朋友呢,给远方的爸妈打个电话,聊聊家常，不是更好吗？

Bags & Shoes

Fellow online serial shopper GH asked me today how many bags & shoes I owned. Hmm... tricky...

Put it this way, I'm a self-confessed shoe addict and bag whore. Call me shallow and materialistic, but one of my aims in life is to overtake Imelda Marcos and I see branded bags as a form of investment, the way some people view red wine as alternative investment.

My personal record: 4 pairs of shoes in 2+ hours (okie.. they were 5-10 GBP each so i'm not that bad really...). Highest expenditure on a bag: 600 GBP on my pink Chanel Reporter Cambon.

It seems that I'm not alone in my quest. A recent survey by UK research firm Mintel found that one in 10 UK women - 2.6 million women aged 16 and up - are aspiring Carrie Bradshaws. They currently own at least 30 pairs of shoes - one for every day of the month. Me...hmm...haven't taken stock of the no. of shoes I have in Singapore, but in London, I definitely can walk out of my room in a different shoe for a month if I wanted to.

GH says i outta get a job like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada...totally agree... but having said that I'll rather be the legendary fashion editrix Miranda Priestly...minus the catyness of course!

Either that or I'll need to find myself a rich husband and lead a tai tai life...easier said then done though...think it's probably easier to work my way up n become Miranda...

Pointless and irrelevant post... Probably cuz of the spillover effect from the people I followed at Paragon today... keep a look out for My Paper either on Wed or Thurs if u wanna know what I did.... hee hee...

ciao....

Gals have it better?

A friend, YC, wrote this in one of our mass emails:
"it's perfectly okay for girls to make male-bashing remarks (in fact one can even get applauded for that) while guys doing the reverse would be labelled misogynists and bigots. kinda to make up for centuries of oppression I guess. boy, it's so hard to be male these days. must be breadwinner, treat women with respect and equality, go army, carry heavy stuff....."

Do gals necessary have it better? I beg to differ.
Remember colleague YN saying a couple of days ago that guys can never quite understand the pain & suffering gals go thru during that time of the month, child bearing & child birth. In return for a painless, less disruptive life, think it's only fair that gals be forgiven for our PMS, mood swings n wat not, not forgetting having the privilege to have a dig at our "better half" ehz...life would be so boring if everything went the macho way won't it? :p

PYC: there u go... no need to be jealous of Xi anymore... u got ur much "awaited" mention on my blog :) hee hee...

I miss London...

Boo hoo... my lucky neighbour @ work, Mervin is heading to London on Wed... boy I miss the city esp during this time of the year when it's cold n chilly n gets dark at 3pm... yeah i know i'm mad...

Merv has only 3 days there and asked what's the single thing that he must do there... well no prizes for wat i said... shopping of cuz...there's nothing like dashing from shop to shop starting from Oxford Street all the way to the end of Bond street n not forgetting Regent Street along the way. If I have time, I'll head down to Covent Garden too from Regent Street...that's my usual shopping route n exercise routine :p Oh, if u need food, stop by Chinatown...I miss the fusion style chinese food (Chinese Experience) n the dim sum (Royal Dragon, Golden Dragon) there...

More on the topic of shopping, there's a daily battle going on in my mind whether to go to the library or go shopping after sch... I'm such a disaster ehz...I love shopping on my own so I can take in the sights properly n try out every shoe in all the wonderful shoe shops there... somehow i can never bring myself to buy any shoes in singapore...while i can buy 4 pairs at a go in London (they were 5 quid each btw... i'm a shopaholic but i know my limits...) I miss Kurt Geiger, Faith & Shelly's...miss Selfridges & Harrods during sales... if u're patient enough to dig thru the piles n look thru every asle, u're bound to find some gd bargains there...

The supermarkets are a must go too... miss the rows n rows of ready made food, esp the ones at Marks & Spencers... miss the large variety of cereals, chocolates, tidbits, fruit juices, alcohol n toiletries @ Tesco & Sainsbury... i esp miss grocery shopping at 2am in the morning.... i can stay for 2 hours at a go... there's just so much to see n to agonise over too with my limited budget... Oh oh... not forgetting the lovely markets like Borough Market, Spitalfields Market, Camden Town, Nottinghill Gate... there's so much going on...craving for fresh oysters, lovely brownies, flans & pastries, pizzas & baguettes n freshly brewed coffee along with quirky items to look see...I miss kebabs too... i know i'm weird...

Merv also asked how he could get to his hotel n whether he should take the cab or Heathrow Express... even after the bombings n all I would say that I miss taking the tube n esp the london buses...wouldn't even bother about his 2 options...love observing ppl on the tube n looking out of the windows of the buses...every street every turn, it's so different. There'll always be something that will catch ur eye. Every time u pass by a place, there's always something new u'll pick out.

He said that his travel companion is concerned about needing to walk for long distances... all i can say is, walking in London is a pleasure... walk ard, take in the sights & breathe...it's refreshing...I used to walk for everywhere in London, for miles on my shopping escapades especially, all the way from Russell Square to the end of Bond street n den back...kills my legs totally but definitely worth it...even better if u have a cup of mocha from Cafe Nero in ur hands or gingerbread latte from Starbucks...sip slowly, walk at ur own pace n smell the hustle n bustle...If it's sunny, remember to look up n enjoy the clear blue skies...u will never be able to get it here...

Talking about Oxford Street, I miss going to church in London. The sermons and services at All Souls at the cross road of Oxford Street n Regent Street were simply lovely...somehow i can never find the feeling back here in sg...miss the All Souls orchestra & choir too...always looked forward to services with them once a month...spiritually uplifting no matter how bad ur week has been...

As you guys can probably tell by now, i'm suffering from London withdrawal symptons yet again. If i ever get to go to London or work in London, I'll jump at the opportunity.

I miss London so so much....I hate u merv! :p (kiddin, have fun there, hopefully u'll fall in love with it as much as i did...)


p/s: this is not the end ...just that I'm totally knackered after a long day's work... shall continue to bore everyone with my london musings another day :p

Change blog design

Have been getting comments lately from frens n readers tt my humble home is pretty tough to navigate n definitely not office frenly... will be doing something about it once I get some time on my hands... definitely before the end of this year I promise.

So just bear with me for a bit... clearer, less distracting layout coming up! Suggestions are welcomed!

Bdae in Pix

Had lotsa fun in the last 3 days n I got my hair dyed red! Thanx to the ppl out there who made it possible... haven't had so much fun in a long time!

Will try to put everything down in words soon... in the meantime, do check out the pix on my flickr:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/yunfairy/

24!

The "dreaded" day has arrived...I've officially bid farewell to 23 and am 24 as of this moment!

Thanks to the sweet souls out there: AT, KY, YX n YN for remembering.

Haven't accomplished very much in the past year other than trying to adjust to adult working life, so my goal in the next 365 days is to make every day count!

I know it's one month premature for any new year resolutions to be made but these are the things i'll like to accomplish in the coming year:
1. Get my first car!
2. Start saving up for a house, hopefully by 2008 I'll be able to own a studio apartment.
3. Travel more... London is definitely on the list...
4. Take CFA I or embark on my part-time PHD
5. Spend more quality time with my family and friends

That seems like an awful lot...anyhow, I'm gonna make sure I have a smashing day today! I'm planning to get my hair coloured n gonna meet some frens for shopping followed by dinner at Oosh...hee hee....

Hmmm... only thing is that i'm still stuck at office now...hopefully this is not a sign of things in the coming year....:p

Quarter-life crisis

In four days time, I'll be bidding adios to being 23.

The past year has been a roller coaster ride for me. Haven't been through so many ups and downs in 365 days for as long as my memory can serve me. Had a drastic change in my career, death scares of two of my grandparents, meeting someone who mattered very much as a mentor n friend and then screwing things up after having a break down due to stress. Not forgetting passing up on opportunities that on hindsight I should have taken up.

With all these commotion happening in my life, I was telling some friends over the weekend that I'm definitely not looking forward to add another digit to my age as it'll only mean that I'm one step closer to meeting my quarter-life crisis. After entering adult life and coming to terms with its responsibilities, I somehow found myself stuck in a world of career stagnation and extreme insecurity.

Read somewhere online that a primary cause of the stress associated with the "quarter-life crisis" is financial in nature. Real wages for most people have been dropping since the 1970s and most professions have become highly competitive. Positions of relative security – such as tenured positions at universities and "partner" status at law firms – have dwindled in number. This, combined with excessive downsizing, means that many people will never experience occupational security in their lives, and this is doubly unlikely in young adulthood. Generation X that I belong to unfortunately is the first generation to meet with this uncertain "New Economy" en masse.

Property has never been less affordable--especially in the cities, where we must go to compete for jobs. This contributes to a sense of rootlessness. In turn, this impacts on relationships with friends and potential partners--not that most twentysomethings have time for sex.

The era when a professional career meant a life of occupational security – thus allowing an individual to proceed to establish an "inner life" – is coming to a crashing end. Financial professionals are often expected to spend at least 80 hours per week in the office, and people in the legal, medical, educational, and managerial professions may average more than 60. In most cases, these long hours are de facto involuntary, reflecting economic and social insecurity. While these ills plague adults at all ages, their worst victims are ambitious, unestablished young adults.

In The Cheating Culture, David Callahan illustrates that these ills of excessive competition and insecurity do not always end once one becomes established – by being awarded tenure or "partner" status – and therefore the "quarter-life crisis" may actually extend beyond young adulthood. Some measure of financial security – which usually requires occupational security – is necessary for psychological development. Some have theorized that insecurity in the "New Economy" will place many in a state of, effectively, perpetual adolescence, and that the rampant and competitive consumerism of the 1990s and 2000s indicates that this is already taking place.

Having said all that, I guess it's not all doom and gloom. A friend said in return, most people don't reach 100 anyway, so I have nothing to fret as I've perhaps been through this dark patch in my life already and things will only look up from here.

On a separate note, my mind starts to wonder whether I'll prefer dying young or to live a ripe long life and experience lots of crisis like mid-life, old age etc. ... oh well... No one can have the best of all worlds...

爱人和被爱

　　被爱是幸福的。爱人总是痛苦的。
　　好不容易调试好心情再次说服自己积极面对眼前的挑战，却还是被浇了一身冷水。
　　说我爱逃避现实，又或者自暴自弃也好，又不由自主地开始想念过去。过去几个月一直浮现在脑海里的念头又再次浮现。
　　是我过去被宠坏了吗？过去眼前是大把的机会，背后有疼爱我的人。如今放眼看去，一直觉得战战兢兢，不知几时会踏上导火线而惹来一身祸。
　　咬紧牙根深呼吸看来不是长久的办法。
现在，也许金钱才能够买到我渴望的快乐。

The One, Right Person Wrong Time or Wrong Person Right Time?

Some old frens of mine from good old JC days are trying to find out whether the people that they are dating are "The One"....one said if she's able to do boring stuff with the person and doesn't find anyone else she hopes to marry even more, the person will be the one, another said if a guy is willing to change for a girl then she is the one, a third mentioned about how much a person is "valued", the more valuable, the more likely he/she is the one.

Honestly, I really am clueless about how to identify "The One". For me, before i start any relationship, unless I see it going somewhere, i.e. end up with marriage at the end of the road, i won't take the plunge. The other is always the one for me I guess.

Was chatting to one of the old frens earlier and the conversation moved on to finding the right person. Relationship is a matter of timing and depending on which school you subscribe to, when things don't work out, it's either the right person but the wrong time ; or the wrong person but the right time.

As he said, if you're not with the right person, it'll feel like you are swimming in tar. I can't agree more. No matter which direction you take it's always gonna be a sticky, murky, dead end.

To him, he subscribes to the case where it's the right person but the wrong time as we are all only 24, or going to 24 in my case, considerably young and things are going pretty well regardless of whether we've met who we think is Mr or Miss Right or not...My take on this is that although things may seem to be progressing well but it's not at it's best. It's always nice to have someone to share your life with regardless of which point in life u belong to. To me, it's the right time all the time, just that the person may not be the right one who would stick with you true the good times and bad for eternity. But hopefully, things are like what he said, n our group of 6 wouldn't have to end up x years later still meeting the wrong person at the right time.

Some pretty random stuff to fill my long absence from blogging.... came back early Sunday morning and have tons of things to attend to....haven't had time to organise my fotos from the trip. All in all a pretty gd trip n i'm definitely much better now... will post pictures of my adventures n misadventures (heads up: it has to do with my hair... look out for pictures... if i decide to put them up...too embarassing) once i manage to steal some time! Watch out for it!

Leaving on a jet plane...

Leaving for China in just a couple of hours for work. Just started with my packing...guess i'll just have to sleep on the plane later...

Had a crazy day at work... starting with the Singapore Motorshow 2006 at 830am in the morning at suntec... interesting stuff but i was so dead beat by the end of the day that i can't think straight and was struggling extremely hard to file my stories. Imagine being on your feet all the while from 745am (time I took the train from home) all the way till 5+pm when i got back into office, during which i was trying to drag 10 odd press kits everywhere i went... dreadful...

After all that i've seen at the show today, i'm pretty certain on buying the Suzuki Swift once I get my 13th month at the end of this year. Too bad they aren't doing the lavender/pink version anymore... i'll just have to settle for the yellow one! My fav colour anyway :) It's gonna be a costly investment n gonna be a struggle with my pay now but I guess i'm buying time with a car n definitely will be able to go out more and enjoy life the way i should, instead of what i've been doing for the past couple of weeks... moping around n feeling sorry for myself :) Fingers x that COE prices go back down....:p

Still taking deep breaths after Monday but I'm doing fine moving on. Won't deny that deep down a part of me is still hoping for a miracle...guess no one can really predict what lies ahead so it's nice to harbour some hope for something you desire...i've learnt that fate is a crazy word...just have to make sure it doesn't get the better of me n remain just as memories...

Been doing some self reflection lately after all that has happened...Must say I haven't been myself for the last 2-3 months. I've been told I'm a cheerful, determined and optimistic person b4... but i've been totally opposite after national day it seems. Perhaps that's why I've been screwing things up, making ppl ard me frustrated and lady luck hasn't been on my side. Ppl whom I haven't been treating well the last couple of months, please accept my apologies. Sorry! This trip is gonna be one that i'll try to put everything in the past, be happy again so that I can come back to a new start.

Leaving on a jet plane, dumping all my unhappiness in the Yangtze river n gonna return a happier person!

B4 i continue with my packing...Considering how forgetful I am... Xi equal if u're reading this, Happy Birthday in advance! Can't wait for chuan to come back next Jan...hopefully our kkn trip works out :) Miss u guys like crazy...BIG HUGZ...can't believe it's been 7 years already......we're all getting old!

Toodles ppl.... till next week :)

p/s: uploaded a couple of fotos to keep all of u entertained while i'm away... enjoy!

一年了

　　今天是我加入报馆满一周年的日子。
　　一个多星期前从老总手中接过confirmation letter，心里百感交集。365天，觉得过得好漫长。
　　这一年来，我好像坐了一个很长很长的过山车，途中有起有落，一直都不知道前方会有些什么样的高潮或低谷在等着我。每一天都过得很刺激，有些时候甚至觉得惊险万分。
　　2005年11月7日，我踏入社会，成为《新明日报》的社会新闻记者。那也是我5年前，在领报馆奖学金之前，第一个实习的地方。
　　还记得上班第一天，我的第一个任务是处理Durex的性调查报告；这也是一些同事给我“性专家”外号的开始。在这之后我多次被点秋香，报道有关性展览Sexpo和男性不举不育问题等。
　　工作的第二个星期，我遇到了事业上的第一个挫折。去年11月中旬，NKF事件已步入完结阶段，经过无数次的NKF记者会后，在等待审计报告出炉的当儿，11月15日的记者会看似历常，也许因为这样主任才安排我这个新手去采访。
　　岂料，我那天的新闻运超“好”，竟然在记者会上被我问出有关慈善演出的节目制作费问题，成为第一个报出这个消息的媒体。但我的这个第一个头版新闻却让我哭上了一整夜。当天下午接到公关的不客气电话，晚上回家开电视，看到电视新闻对我的文章指指点点的，朋友和父母看到了之后发简讯给我，质问我发生了什么事，来自多方的打击真的把我吓得几乎崩溃。花了一整晚设法联络主任，大哭一场后，当晚我第一次因工作而失眠。直到隔天看到各大报章的报道和我所写的没有出路，我才放下心中的大石。
　　NKF事件到了12月转淡后，我就开始为大选做准备工作。由于主任认为大选将在12月底或1月初进行，和本地政治脱节了整4年多，错过了上一届大选的我，打从向前辈燕燕和桂娥拿到一堆资料后，便分秒必争地苦读硬背。
　　12月中，主任安排我进行第一个政治访问，对象是反对党风云人物谢镜丰。没想到，他在访问的时候叫了党员拍下当时的情景，在圣诞节到来的时候，把照片当成明信片寄给了我。收到的时候，真的难以置信，同事还取笑我被他”偷拍“，所幸不是裸照，令我哭笑不得。这张照片之后就挂在我的桌前，抬头看到的时候总是会会心一笑。
　　不知不觉，12月、1月、2月一一都过去了，总理一直都没有宣布大选。到了那个时候，可以炒的新闻都给我们媒体给炒烂了。在这个时候，我很幸运地发掘了有关Old Ford Factory走宝的新闻。为了写这则新闻，我花了好长的时间和精力翻阅历史书籍，老远跑到南大找一名历史教授，同时也很不容易争取到和国家文物局进行访问。但一切的努力都是值得的，我从中获益不浅。这篇investigative report是我至今最满意的作品，被提名新闻奖。只可惜出街当天和牛奶猪枪杀案硬碰硬而被埋没了。
　　来到了3月，某一天下午被现在的老总新迪叫去聊天，邀请我加入《我报》。这么难得的机会，我当时想都没想就一口答应了。老实说，点头答应后，回到坐位看了看周围，开始觉得依依不舍。毕竟旧同事和老板都对我很好，这么样走了好像背叛了他们似的。
　　4月1日，我正式加入《我报》，开始了我事业的另一个篇章。半年多下来，虽然工作时间和工作量是过去的一倍，我当时的决定，我很肯定，并没有错。办新报纸并不是所有媒体人所能体验得到的，我很庆幸有这个难得的机会。
　　大家苦等已久的大选终于定在5月6日举行。新组成的《我报》团队各自回到之前的东家帮忙。
　　3个多星期忙忙碌碌地为大选奔波是我这一年的最大收获。在詹时中的群众大会，我体验了气派。陪伴刘程强巡回选区，体会什么是自信。与刘锡明前去开票，了解什么叫做坚强和无奈。
　　大选之后，《我报》引擎便如火如荼地开动了，但一班同事也不忘忙里偷闲，趁长周末到吉隆坡共度美好时光，拉近了彼此之间的距离，让接下来2个多星期的备战少了陌生的隔膜。大班人一同出游还是我的头一次，感觉很好，希望下来有机会再来。
　　忙着忙着，6月1日很快地到来了。玩真的和之前的dry run的心情完全不一样，压力也多了一层。一路走着，我们一直在fine tune整个《我报》的运作，几乎每个星期都有变数。也许因为当时有很多存稿的关系，创刊的那个月，《我报》家庭在下班后会到酒店看足球或唱KTV，让我回想起在伦敦工作时，每个星期五下班后与同事们喝酒聚餐的欢愉时光。后来大家可能都累坏了，之后再也没有这样的活动了。真可惜。
　　接下来的5个月，财经、汽车、时尚、美食、教育、Hot news、本地新闻、爆料、娱乐等我都有机会尝试。令我觉得满意的是Singapore Encyclopedia、Potong Pasir争议街道和Act of God的报道，还有自己想出来的古怪财经专题。时间过得很充实。如果要说挫折，那就是一直碰到手气坏的时候，什么人都联络不到。
　　上周末和同事颖佳聊天，谈起工作快满一年的事，他建议我在这一天买片蛋糕慰劳慰劳自己。
　　今天下午他问我吃下的时候有什么感觉。虽然买了蛋糕，但因为一整天忙着处理财经和热点新闻，我到现在才有机会尝一口。
　　感觉嘛...酸甜苦辣，全一次过地从口中涌入心里。下来的路还远着呢。
　　新的一年又会是什么样子的？就留意这个空间吧。

老天是公平的

　　经过狂风暴雨的一天，和一名很久没聊天的长辈通了电话，现在心情平静了许多。
　　我把过去三个月来所发生的事情都告诉了他，会相命的他淡淡地说，“信不信由你，这是你命中注定的事。”
　　他说小妹我，命水还不错，在课业和事业方面都比一般人来得顺利，虽然偶尔会遇到一些小挫折，但总是会有贵人伸出援手拉我一把；唯独感情方面总是触礁，事事不顺。
　　听到这里，我安静了一会儿，设法去理解和接受他的这番话。
　　也许察觉到我满头污水，长辈接着语重心长地说，“不要心急。30岁啦。你30岁才会结婚，28、29岁在工作上会碰到能够达到你的要求，而且能忍受你工作时间和性质的人。耐心点吧。”
　　长辈也说，我这个人对另一半的要求蛮高的，教育水平要和我的相近，沉稳，要有幽默感，能够成为我的避风港，一般的阿猫阿狗我是看不上的。虽然条件设得很高，但不乏追求者，只是接触了之后，就会知道我是个带刺的玫瑰，对于感情过于重视，一踏步就会深陷其中，并不如他们想象中的完美，以致后来不欢而散。
　　当时，听到这番话我真的很惊讶。我一直以为自己是一个凭感觉走的人，对于另一半的条件也没有像一些朋友一样会去定下一个清单，根本没有什么要求。怎么知道，我的潜意识却背叛了我的心，自己拟了一份清单，列出这些超高的条件，以致我在处理感情问题时会变得很过份。
　　长辈说，把精神放在工作和事业上吧。我同意。最近工作上并不是很顺利，想联络的人都无法上手，开始有点自暴自弃。现在是时候重拾过去的冲劲，再次向前迈进。明天是我加入报馆满一年的日子了，终于等到这一天，也是新一页掀开的最好时刻。
　　放下电话后，脑海里一直闪着这样一句话：老天是公平的。有一好，没有两好。所以，总不能要求事业和爱情都同样有成吧。只能庆幸妈妈生下我的时候是五官端正，没有残缺，这些年来都平安成长，短短的人生比很多很多人来得一帆风顺。
　　把这些全都写出来，一方面是给予自己前进的动力，另一方面则是想考验这个说法是否属实。不是我半信半疑，只是好奇。
　　唉，深呼吸，凡事耐心点吧。

Hope

Someone once told me that in life everything and anything can change at any time, so keep hoping.

I've been hanging on to that hope for the last two months now but reality found it's way and hit me today. Now I'll like to change the above statement to: Hope is just a stumbling block that prevents you from putting the past aside and moving on.

Thanks for giving me the closure today that I needed. Sorry to have caused any unhappiness or inconvenience in the process.

Feeling bitter but definitely much better now.

sleepless fri nite/sat morning...

Finally concluded a long impossible week. Many things happened this week, most I rather not talk about and hope to forget. It certainly felt like the longest week ever in my life. Now that I'm so looking forward to hiding in my bed, so that I can keep away from the rest of the world, I end up with eyes wide opened, feeling crankier than ever.

Seriously, I need to sleep so I can wake up earlier 2moro to go for a much needed jog. I need to get the bad energy out of my systems and get some fresh air back into my brain so I can think straight. Hopefully meeting LF & JT for lunch n K for dinner later on will do me some gd. Retail therapy sounds mightly appealing too.

Going for a JC sch mate's wedding on Sunday. Call me silly, but fingers x that an auspicious occasion such as this will bring some positive energy back into my life. I definitely could do with some luck b4 moving into next week.

Leaving for China on Friday morning for a 10 day junket/working trip. Haven't gone to the embassy to do my visa (was supposed to do it today but I had to go into office early to work on my motoring page cuz the material only came in late last nite...) and have to stock up on biz features b4 i leave. The thought of being stuck on a cruise ship for 4 days is beginning to scare me. Brings back bad memories of being stuck on a semi-cruise ship at Crete last April. Anyone who would like to loan me a gd book to while away time? For sanity sake, I don't wanna end up reading another Game theory book again.

K, i'm gonna give my pillow another go. Hopefully this time it won't choose to fail me yet again.

　　今天早上听2530的未来听到这一句对白：
　　“我放手因为我放心。”
　　经典。
　　我想我暂时还没有办法做得到，但我会努力。

网球对手

　　最近心情真的很不好。
　　同事YT开导我的时候说了一些蛮有意思的话，就记录在这边，当作是给自己的提醒，也给予心烦的人一些启示。
　　有些事情是无法勉强的。
　　如果球在对手的手上，如果他选择不继续打下去，你无法做些什么。继续站在球场的另一边等上一辈子，也未必有结果。游戏已结束，有时候就得学习认命，然后深呼吸，勇敢地走下去。过些时日，也许会找到另一个球场，还有一个愿意与你较量，资格更好的对手。
　　柳暗花明又一村。

可怜的公关

　　又有人选择跳轨结束生命。
　　说我无情也好，说我偏心也罢，发生这样的事情，我想最无辜最可怜的应该是SMRT的公关，而并非自杀者的家人。
　　毕竟，她与事故无关，也没有办法避免悲剧发生，却得去收拾残局，应付媒体，乘客，警方，死者家属和公司。而且跳轨者偏偏选择在下班时间了事，延长了她的工作时间，对她一点也不公平。
　　寻死有很多办法，何必选择给人添麻烦的方式呢？
　　难道是希望一举成名或博取同情？
　　人是善忘的，钱是会花完的，取得的“名利”只是暂时性的。